Check Them Regularly

I had a dream last night that I was outside the Sarkey’s Law Center and I was trying to tackle a guy so I could get personal jurisdiction over him. I was yelling at my Civil Procedure professor to help me. Very strange. 

The other day Professor CivPro was going over personal jurisdiction and how Justice Scalia views the requirements of PJ set forth by Pennoyer v. Neff in 1877 as being still proper today. Professor CivPro had written some stuff on the chalk board and was making the point that Scalia was arguing that the principles for gaining jurisdiction have been around for year and years. He said Scalia is like LL Cool J with personal Jurisdiction. Then, with one hand up to the chalk board and his back to the class, he turned his head slightly and said, “Don’t call it a comeback, I’ve been here for years.” He paused a moment and a couple people chuckled. Then he followed up with saying, “Rockin my peers and puttin suckas in fear!” Then the whole class started laughing and he had a very satisfied smile on his face. Nothing like hearing your CivPro professor say the first two lines of Momma Said Knock You Out by LL Cool J in relation to personal jurisdiction.

I had a doctor’s appointment today. Our sole source of income right now are student loans. Needless to say, our pockets are shallow and our wallets are thin. We decided to get on Medicaid. Out here it's called Sooner Care. I had to go in for the baseline checkup recently. The nurse who was entering some information on a computer asked me a bunch of questions and then asked, " do you check your testicles regularly." Not wanting to sound like a slacker, I said, in my best Shawn Connery voice, "Yes, I do check my testicles regularly." That was the first time anyone has asked me that. Glad it happened in Oklahoma. I should have told her that I'm a law student and that she'd need to define "check."

Asking about a person's testicles might be a good thing to say during “good-byes.” People could yell it to me as I depart. "DON'T FORGET TO CHECK YOUR TESTICLES!" It would definitely serve as a good reminder. I wouldn't want a lump to creep up unnoticed only because I forgot to "check" them (or "it" if you've been singularized). Or maybe I'll use that as the cue for ending a conversation with someone who I'm not excited to talk to. "Yeah, well, it's been good talking to you, but I need to go and check my testicles."

The possibilities are endless.