Bassomatic Theory

In Torts today, the professor was going over some issue spotter questions. Basically, he gives us a couple of problems from old exams and wants us to analyze them, pick out the relevant facts and apply the pertinent doctrinal theory or theories of law that will answer the specific question at the end of the problem. I looked them over and came up with what I thought were the applicable theories, and when the professor asked for volunteers to suggest a theory, I offered.

The theory I proposed was not the best in terms of what would be adequate to convince a judge or jury to agree. Okay, that's fine. The theory I suggested was one of a few I thought about, though I didn't bother to decide which would be the very best one to argue.

The professor then went on for a few minutes about how a colleague refers to what I did (and other students sometimes do) as the Bassomatic Theory. Referencing the old Saturday Night Live skit with Dan Aykroyd (which I am very familiar with), where he puts a bass in a blender and blends it into a smooth shake, the professor basically said students tend to identify several theories, whether they're applicable or not, and throw them all in and blend them up hoping to arrive at a correct conclusion.

I got his point. Don't put all the theories in the Bassomatic. Identify the possible theories, then be very selective as to which applies based on authoritative case law. Period. Don't waste your time trying to fit a square into a round hole. Wow, that's terrific bass!